What made the difference?

I was reading Thejas' blog 'The Gaze' a few minutes back and i realized that this was one of the main things that was running through my mind in the past week but with a slight difference!

Thejas had spoken beautifully about Peter, his denial of Christ and how His gaze brought him back. I was thinking about another man that the Gospel speaks about - another man who had lived with Jesus for three years, who had seen every miracle of Jesus - the dead being raised, the blind receiving sight, the lepers being cured and so much more, he had been with Jesus and heard every preaching of Jesus - teachings that have changed the world and continue to impact the life of each and every person who comes in contact with it. He had lived with Jesus and seen his life day in and day out and atlast he betrayed Jesus and for what? Thirty silver pieces!!! Thinking of Judas Iscariot's betrayal I felt sad "how can a man who had personally known Jesus betray him?" 

Then i thought how many of us call ourselves Christians and boast about being Christians from birth or of having read the entire Bible but completely fail when we have to put to practice what we have heard and read? So many of us fail to live the Gospel and that is the reason why people are not attracted to the Christian way of life like they used to be in the early Christian era. A handful of people lived true Christian lives two thousand years ago and today Christianity is the major religion in the world. Then where did we fail? Leaving that for later lets come back to the topic - 

What did Judas miss out? Peter denied Jesus, Judas betrayed Jesus. Why was his end so horrible while Peter went on to become the first Pope? The problem was in the attitude of both the people! I would explain this with a small story which I heard a couple of years ago and was reminded about it recently by a friend.

Once in a countryside there was a Pastor who had a son. In that same area there was a girl who was notorious for her sinful life that she was leading. It so happened that the Pastor's son met this girl and both fell in love and after a period of time the girl repented of her previous life and they decided to get married. When the Pastor's son told the church one day about this, all the people in the church were shocked and said how a Pastor's son could marry such a girl and each one of them started to quote about different incidents from the girl's past. The girl felt humiliated and the boy was saddened. Then he quietly stood up and addressed the assembly of people saying "what is being put to test here is not my fiancé but the power of the Blood of Jesus to forgive sins". At this the entire congregation fell silent and the people who had accused the girl were completely embarrassed at what they had done and how they had behaved.

In the life of Judas and Peter this was the very same thing that was happening. Judas betrayed Jesus and when he had done it, he was overcome with such a terrible grief that he refused to believe that anybody could forgive such a dreadful act. Anybody could not have, but here it was Christ Jesus and that was the difference. Christ took upon himself the sins of the past, the present and the future of all mankind and gave himself up as a consummation for us to return to God. Wouldn't he have forgiven Judas? Yes he would have but Judas had to believe that Jesus could forgive him and that was what Judas could not do. He let his misery overcome him and that was why his end was so horrible while Peter trusted in the redeeming power of the blood that Christ shed on the cross and that gave him the strength to recover from his past and reach for a future that was glorified by Christ!

In life everyday we come up with the same choices. Do we believe that Jesus' sacrifice has caused the difference or are we going to doubt the power of the redeeming love and mercy of Jesus? Around us in the world everyday we can see many people choosing the way like Judas did without knowing that true forgiveness is about forgetting the past however painful it might have been and looking forward to a future where you can make a difference for the person you sinned against!

Peter repented for his sin but believed that Jesus would forgive him while Judas cursed himself and did not believe that the person who preached about the love, mercy and forgiveness of the Father was capable of forgiving him and so he ended his own life. Their attitude in relation to Jesus made the difference not only to them but to the world around them, for Peter believed in Christ's forgiveness and went on to be one of the greatest pillars of the Church, a man responsible for the faith of so many people and the first Pope while we all know what happened to Judas. So lets be like Peter!

The Gaze - http://unfailing-love-abounding-grace.blogspot.com/2010/03/gaze.html#comments

I Choose to be!

Farewell was an amazing day, a nice party hosted for us by our juniors. As always people never fail to surprise me - my juniors in particular - every time by getting some reason to put me on stage. This time it was the LIBA awards and I of all people won two awards. I was a little surprised because I had already made up my mind as to who gets what, especially I wanted some awards to go to some specific seniors and I was surprised to find myself on the list. So what do I win? Heart stealer and Lifetime achievement award. Hmm hmm. Well if any one else had won these I would have loved to take their cases apart. Anyways here I was, as some liked to club the awards together, they called it the Lifetime award in Stealing hearts :-P

Well initially I was shocked when I got these awards but as the evening faded, I remembered (was also reminded by a close friend) my previous blog and I realised that I had not stolen hearts but I had given my heart to everyone in some way or the other and it was this that had returned to me in this form.

Often I question myself trying to find a rationale behind what I do everyday - Why do I work so hard for something that does not concern me? Why do I spend so much time with people? Why do I take it upon myself to see that everybody is satisfied or happy? Why do I miss meals and spoil my health working on some unrelated thing? Why cant I be indifferent to the things around me? Why cant I be like so many others – my life, my work, my friends? Why cant I fall with the flow and not try to break it time and again? Is it for the fame? Name? Attention that people think I grab? What is my motivation? Where is the component of self interest in it? Seriously I care nothing about all of these!

Then what is my answer? My answer is very simple – it is my inability to not love. I cannot but put others before me. Maybe it was the way I was created, maybe it was the way I was brought up but maybe also because it was the way I choose to be. In my little memory I do not remember having given less than my whole heart to any job at hand or to any request of a friend. I have gone out of my way many a times to be useful to the people around me and in the place I have been destined to be. I do not see anything big in it because I consider it as the reason for my existence, the reason I have been placed where I am.

The world might laugh at me, it may call me names, it might think I am crazy, foolish or deranged. But when I chose to be me, I also chose to ignore what the world said/felt about me because the world outside and the conscious within are two perfectly parallel lines that never meet. I believe in that Inner Voice which guides me. I believe in answering to myself, in resting my head each evening with a light heart having made peace with myself and my neighbour - the voice of my conscious is louder to me than any other voice around me and that voice has always guided me truly.

If somebody asked me if I was in love, I would laugh at them because I have always been in love. I have never stopped loving and I guess I never can. It is love that gives me the strength to be what I am, to do what I do and to live as I live. If I stopped loving then that day this world can drum those nails into my tomb, because as long as I live I will keep loving and that is what makes my life worth living.

So did I really steal hearts? No and yes! I gave mine away first to every one around me and they in return gifted me (some would read it as stole) with so many hearts.

“The less we have, the more we give. Seems absurd but it’s the logic of love” – Mother Teresa

A Broken Heart!

A heard this story long ago and it left a deep impression on me, so i would like to share it with you.

Once upon a time there was a young and handsome man who boasted that he had the most beautiful heart, wholesome and wonderful. He prided about his heart and always spoke about it. Once day he met an old man who had a heart that was like a jigsaw puzzle, made of random pieces which didnt even look like they would fit each other properly. The young man saw the old man's heart and felt disgusted, but then being curious, he confronted the man and asked him why his heart was in so many pieces. The old man smiled at the young one and explained, "my heart that you see is not my heart alone, but has a piece of the heart of almost everyone I have met so far in my life. I leave a piece of my heart with everyone I meet by loving them and they inturn reciprocate by giving me a piece of their heart. Over time this is how my heart has become and I carry the ones I love in my heart always. You, young man have to learn to love without condition and loose the beauty of the heart that you boast about to actually find true joy in life. It is easier not to love and not to feel the loss but that will not make life worth living. Life is truly worth living everytime you break a piece of your heart and give it to someone you love!"

The story finished thus - but it left a deep impression on me.... i dont even remember when i heard this story but i only know it made enough sense to cause a change in me. Hope it means as much to you as it means to me, cause i was the young man once but now i am trying to give a piece of my heart to everyone i meet!