I was reading Thejas' blog 'The Gaze' a few minutes back and i realized that this was one of the main things that was running through my mind in the past week but with a slight difference!
Thejas had spoken beautifully about Peter, his denial of Christ and how His gaze brought him back. I was thinking about another man that the Gospel speaks about - another man who had lived with Jesus for three years, who had seen every miracle of Jesus - the dead being raised, the blind receiving sight, the lepers being cured and so much more, he had been with Jesus and heard every preaching of Jesus - teachings that have changed the world and continue to impact the life of each and every person who comes in contact with it. He had lived with Jesus and seen his life day in and day out and atlast he betrayed Jesus and for what? Thirty silver pieces!!! Thinking of Judas Iscariot's betrayal I felt sad "how can a man who had personally known Jesus betray him?"
Then i thought how many of us call ourselves Christians and boast about being Christians from birth or of having read the entire Bible but completely fail when we have to put to practice what we have heard and read? So many of us fail to live the Gospel and that is the reason why people are not attracted to the Christian way of life like they used to be in the early Christian era. A handful of people lived true Christian lives two thousand years ago and today Christianity is the major religion in the world. Then where did we fail? Leaving that for later lets come back to the topic -
What did Judas miss out? Peter denied Jesus, Judas betrayed Jesus. Why was his end so horrible while Peter went on to become the first Pope? The problem was in the attitude of both the people! I would explain this with a small story which I heard a couple of years ago and was reminded about it recently by a friend.
Once in a countryside there was a Pastor who had a son. In that same area there was a girl who was notorious for her sinful life that she was leading. It so happened that the Pastor's son met this girl and both fell in love and after a period of time the girl repented of her previous life and they decided to get married. When the Pastor's son told the church one day about this, all the people in the church were shocked and said how a Pastor's son could marry such a girl and each one of them started to quote about different incidents from the girl's past. The girl felt humiliated and the boy was saddened. Then he quietly stood up and addressed the assembly of people saying "what is being put to test here is not my fiancé but the power of the Blood of Jesus to forgive sins". At this the entire congregation fell silent and the people who had accused the girl were completely embarrassed at what they had done and how they had behaved.
In the life of Judas and Peter this was the very same thing that was happening. Judas betrayed Jesus and when he had done it, he was overcome with such a terrible grief that he refused to believe that anybody could forgive such a dreadful act. Anybody could not have, but here it was Christ Jesus and that was the difference. Christ took upon himself the sins of the past, the present and the future of all mankind and gave himself up as a consummation for us to return to God. Wouldn't he have forgiven Judas? Yes he would have but Judas had to believe that Jesus could forgive him and that was what Judas could not do. He let his misery overcome him and that was why his end was so horrible while Peter trusted in the redeeming power of the blood that Christ shed on the cross and that gave him the strength to recover from his past and reach for a future that was glorified by Christ!
In life everyday we come up with the same choices. Do we believe that Jesus' sacrifice has caused the difference or are we going to doubt the power of the redeeming love and mercy of Jesus? Around us in the world everyday we can see many people choosing the way like Judas did without knowing that true forgiveness is about forgetting the past however painful it might have been and looking forward to a future where you can make a difference for the person you sinned against!
Peter repented for his sin but believed that Jesus would forgive him while Judas cursed himself and did not believe that the person who preached about the love, mercy and forgiveness of the Father was capable of forgiving him and so he ended his own life. Their attitude in relation to Jesus made the difference not only to them but to the world around them, for Peter believed in Christ's forgiveness and went on to be one of the greatest pillars of the Church, a man responsible for the faith of so many people and the first Pope while we all know what happened to Judas. So lets be like Peter!
